How I Celebrate Romance by Shana Galen

How I Celebrate Romance

Readers sometimes ask me if I base my heroes on real life. As much as I’d like to say yes, the answer is no. My husband is not a romance hero. Yours probably isn’t either. That’s because romance heroes are fiction. Real men (and women) have real flaws and annoying habits. Their breath doesn’t smell good in the morning. They don’t always remember to lower the toilet lid. And sometimes they snore so loudly you have to smack them to get some sleep.

Additionally, real life just isn’t romantic. We authors skip over the boring parts of our characters’ lives—the parts where they fold laundry for an hour or make school lunches or type numbers in a spreadsheet. We skip to the fun parts—falling in love, taking a fabulous vacation, great sex, a gourmet dinner out (or in). But those things aren’t part of the every day grind.

Still, does this mean that we can’t celebrate romance every day? That we can’t make the daily grind romantic in some small way? No, my husband isn’t a romance hero, but I can find something romantic in so many things he does every day. He calls me to tell me he’s on his way home from work. He shows me a funny post from Facebook. He takes my car to be washed. He may not ride up on a white stallion to sweep me into his arms, but he shows me he cares in a thousand little ways. The little things add up, and if we pay attention to them, can bring romance into our every day lives.

I like to celebrate romance through other avenues. I look at the people around me and see so many ways romance is celebrated. My grandparents were married seventy-two years before my grandmother passed away in May of this year. On the last day of her life, as she lay in hospice care, my grandfather asked her for a kiss. They were affectionate until the end. What about those couples on a first date? I love watching them when I’m out at a restaurant. They’re so adorably awkward. There’s an older couple who comes to the Starbucks where I write on Saturday mornings. Even though there are plenty of chairs available, she always sits on his lap and they read the paper together. It’s sweet, even if it’s also a little over the top.

Critics of romance often say romance novels give women unrealistic expectations. That’s insulting to women’s intelligence; moreover, it belittles the importance of romance in all of our lives. It’s not a silly idea that only exists in fiction. It’s real and vital and we can finds ways—big and small—to celebrate it every day.

How do you celebrate romance?  

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Bad Ideas by Shana Galen

Bad Ideas

This post was originally published in 2012.

I think it’s human nature to want to talk more about our successes than our defeats, but today I’m going to go against my instincts and tell you about some of my bad ideas.

I brainstorm a lot of ideas for books every year. Some are better than others. Some sound great to me but turn out to be huge time sucks because the ideas are bad.

Take my idea for a Holocaust love story. Makes you want to run out and buy it, right? But I promise you I want to write that book. It’s one of those ideas that sticks around in the back of my mind. I’ve always been intrigued by World War II and I used to teach eighth grade students about the Holocaust. It wasn’t a particularly romantic time, but I think it could make for a really great and poignant love story.

And yes, I know quite a few literary fiction novels have been set in that setting, but I want to write a Holocaust romance novel! Is that idea really so bad?

Okay, how about a French Revolution love story? I even wrote 200 pages of this book. The French Revolution is another of those bloody time periods that intrigues me but isn’t particularly intriguing to readers. I guess it’s something about the chopping off of heads. I couldn’t get an editor to buy it. Even when I rewrote it as a young adult novel, I couldn’t sell it. But I’m not giving up. Somewhere, sometime, someone is going to want that French Revolution romance. You know where to find me. (Update: I published that story with Random House!)

 Traitor In Her Arms

I have bad ideas outside of my author life too. I recently acquired two stray kittens. That wasn’t such a good idea when I have a three-year-old, who thinks the poor cats are her dolls. But an even worse idea was trying to take the two cats and the three-year-old to the vet on Friday afternoon. Did I really think that would go well? Did I really think no one was going to get scratched or peed on or burst into tears? Babysitters are made for appointments like that one.

And those of you with kids know that it often takes a lot of trial and error before you stop succumbing to bad ideas with your kids. My windshield had a growing crack in it, and I knew I had to take it to be replaced. I made an appointment and stopped by with Baby Galen in tow. I don’t know why I believed the guy when he told me it would only take an hour. I don’t know why I thought a car repair shop was a good place to take a toddler. At lunchtime. Going into naptime. Surrounded by power tools and glass windshields. You get the picture. I was a wreck when we finally left.

What about you? Have you had any particularly memorable bad ideas?