Shana Galen: How I Celebrate Romance by Shana Galen

How I Celebrate Romance

Readers sometimes ask me if I base my heroes on real life. As much as I’d like to say yes, the answer is no. My husband is not a romance hero. Yours probably isn’t either. That’s because romance heroes are fiction. Real men (and women) have real flaws and annoying habits. Their breath doesn’t smell good in the morning. They don’t always remember to lower the toilet lid. And sometimes they snore so loudly you have to smack them to get some sleep.

Additionally, real life just isn’t romantic. We authors skip over the boring parts of our characters’ lives—the parts where they fold laundry for an hour or make school lunches or type numbers in a spreadsheet. We skip to the fun parts—falling in love, taking a fabulous vacation, great sex, a gourmet dinner out (or in). But those things aren’t part of the every day grind.

Still, does this mean that we can’t celebrate romance every day? That we can’t make the daily grind romantic in some small way? No, my husband isn’t a romance hero, but I can find something romantic in so many things he does every day. He calls me to tell me he’s on his way home from work. He shows me a funny post from Facebook. He takes my car to be washed. He may not ride up on a white stallion to sweep me into his arms, but he shows me he cares in a thousand little ways. The little things add up, and if we pay attention to them, can bring romance into our every day lives.

I like to celebrate romance through other avenues. I look at the people around me and see so many ways romance is celebrated. My grandparents were married seventy-two years before my grandmother passed away in May of this year. On the last day of her life, as she lay in hospice care, my grandfather asked her for a kiss. They were affectionate until the end. What about those couples on a first date? I love watching them when I’m out at a restaurant. They’re so adorably awkward. There’s an older couple who comes to the Starbucks where I write on Saturday mornings. Even though there are plenty of chairs available, she always sits on his lap and they read the paper together. It’s sweet, even if it’s also a little over the top.

Critics of romance often say romance novels give women unrealistic expectations. That’s insulting to women’s intelligence; moreover, it belittles the importance of romance in all of our lives. It’s not a silly idea that only exists in fiction. It’s real and vital and we can finds ways—big and small—to celebrate it every day.

How do you celebrate romance?